Friday, November 15, 2013


I will say this first because I know that with the title and the image above you might get the impression that I am pregnant. I am NOT. Okay, now......moving on....
I have been wanting a baby since I was 3. Okay maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but it has been years....and years.....and years.  Would you believe me if I told you I write to my future babies? yup, I write letters. Sometimes when I make big and even little mistakes, I will write to my future kids about it. It is my way of  not forgetting certain mistakes and not being able to remember later when they are here....and existing.
I can't find the true meaning behind me + mothering, perhaps when I actually mother, I will. When I used to nanny, my maternal instincts kicked in right away. Spending time with different babies allowed me to witness different temperaments, different personalities, and a whole LOT of cuteness. I got my doze of baby everyday. Now that I am not around babies anymore, I miss them terribly! Their pudgy little legs, their squishy hands, their baby talk, ah! so adorable.
So you're probably thinking..."why doesn't she just have one?".
Well there are plenty of reasons why I can't just now. First of all, I want Richard and I to be married, legally, not just the paper we wrote out together in his car. It is a personal preference, I want us to be Mr & Mrs Montes! Plus, I don't think I would look too good pregnant at my wedding.................. again, personal preference.
 Richard and I have been together for a while (3.5 years as couple, and 2.5 friends) and even though things are going great since we moved in, I want to enjoy him and our tiny apartment, alone. Because my routine of getting home and cooking would turn into pick-up baby from childcare, feed baby, cook dinner while entertaining baby, and so on. I also love to sleep in on the weekends, we both do. So as soon as baby is here....there goes our love for sleeping!
People, mostly parents, always tell me to wait to have kids. They say, "once you have kids, you can't do much". Well, Richard and I are pretty mellow. We have never been to a bar (unless you count sitting at Island's bar section a "bar", we only sit there to get seated immediately....we love, we don't do clubs (we already have each other, no need to mate hunt), and we rarely do things where we can't have kids around (like the movies) **people who take babies to the movies, especially when it's a scary movie, really bug me. ( personal preference)
I feel like there is never a right time to have a baby. I don't think I will magically hear a voice telling me "it's time!". I also know that I don't have a clue about how hard it will be. I've cared for babies for long periods of time but I know that I will never know how hard it is until I have one for my own.
Richard and I have been talking about babies. He watched "The Business of Being Born" last year with me. This week I showed him a few videos of other water births. I love water/home births, they are so calm and peaceful....and beautiful! I hope to become a mother sometime after we get married, 307 days to be exact, but who's counting? :) In the mean time I have to prepare my uterus. Oh you know like eating a ton of vegetables, weaning off the coffee, and exercising more. I have to prepare our relationship because I know things will change with a baby in the picture. Finances, oh yeah! babies aren't free, we finally have stable jobs (using our handy dandy degrees) so now it's all about managing that part of our lives.
Even though we will never be ready. The things above might help us by preparing, but even if they don't, the love we have for each other is so strong that we will have to remember that everything else around us will fall into place. In the mean time, I am going to enjoy Richard all to myself (selfishly).
xoxo Yessenia
**Images are taken from pinterest! they are NOT mine.
Ps. I can't wait to decorate a baby space. (probably will be a corner in my room, but still!)


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